Your Yoni Doesn’t Need An Egg: 6 Practices You Can Use Instead to Connect to Your Vagina

There are a lot of reported benefits to using a yoni egg. Gwyneth Paltrow made a big deal about it over at Goop years ago and claimed the practice of inserting an egg-shaped gemstone into your vagina could “increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.” I’ve also heard that it can improve pelvic floor strength, connection to your sexual energy, and facilitate feelings of harmony and peace. 

But this article isn’t about that. 

What I’m here to talk about is the health and function of your pelvic floor and vagina, a.k.a. your yoni. And why the last thing it needs during pregnancy, postpartum, or ever is a heavier load. Unless, of course, your pelvic physical therapist or medical doctor says you do and teaches you how to use it in a healthy, functional, supportive way. 

I know this may ruffle some feathers, but I’m ok with that. Because all of us need to make informed decisions, right? 

Don’t worry, I’ve got a really good explanation for my stance on this. And I’m not trying to take away your crystals. Let’s begin with understanding the function of the pelvic floor first.

Your pelvic floor is the hammock muscles at the base of your trunk, the bottom of your pelvis. And it has many jobs.

• Housing your digestive organs
• Housing your reproductive organs
• Creating and maintaining core stability
• Coordinating with the diaphragm to maximize breath capacity
• Supporting the load of literally all of your vital organs
• And more…it’s a heavy load

And then you get pregnant and add another set of organs and a skeleton — a.k.a another human being — and the amniotic fluid and the placenta…

That heavy load now becomes a huge load. 

Here’s what you pelvic floor is up to during pregnancy:

These muscles are not only supporting ALL of your organs, they are supporting all of that extra stuff too. The pelvic floor is also compensating for the lack of stability in your body caused by the hormone relaxin which you can read about here. 

With the added load and destabilization of pregnancy, your pelvic floor muscles are working overtime. Overworking. In constant engagement and contraction. That constant work easily turns into tension which builds on tension on top of tension, etc.

After a belly birth/cesarean:

Think about a sheet of saran wrap. If you were to cut an area and then try to sew it again, it gets snarled and tangled. And like saran wrap, it extends through the entire sheet and makes a bit of a mess. This is what happens when you get a c-section. The fascia, like the saran wrap, that is present in your pelvic floor extends up and across your abdomen, and is now all discombobulated. The resulting snarls and tangles need to be ironed out and rebalanced. 

After a vaginal birth:

Have you ever rolled your ankle? Or overstretched your hamstrings? Do you remember what happened after? Everything got super tight. When muscles are overstretched or overextended, they react by guarding. The muscles shorten and tighten (a full-out spasm) in order to inhibit movement to avoid further injury. This is what’s going on downstairs after you spent hours pushing that baby out. And if you experienced any tearing and there are stitches, well your pelvic floor is terrified and guarding big time. 

So with this knowledge we understand that the elongated, and maybe torn, muscles from a vaginal birth are tense, scared, and guarded. And after a cesarean the pelvic floor is holding residual tension from pregnancy, guarded from the surgery, and suffering from some tangled fascia.

Does it make sense to add more load to your pelvic floor? To create more contraction in this vulnerable hammock of muscles that have been carrying a huge load for almost 10 months?

NO! 

We can’t strengthen a muscle from tension. That’s not a foundation for strength. We have to release, relax, and train our nervous system to feel safe. THIS is the foundation that we can build strength from. This is what we need for healthy muscles and a lifetime of strong muscles, great sex, and confident sneezes.

Now, I get that a lot of people swear by a yoni egg. I understand you may love it. Or be curious about it. Or desperate for something to do to feel like yourself again. I get it. I’ve been there. And hopefully someday I will be there again (hormones are crazy, right?).

No matter what, here are some important things to consider if you’ve got a yoni egg in your life or want to experiment with one.

Are you using a vaginal weight or jade egg to feel engagement in the musculature of your vaginal wall and pelvic floor?

It’s disorienting after birth to not know what the eff is happening in our bodies. We need something to reassure us that everything is there and still works. I recommend using your finger instead. With lube! Physiologically this is MORE effective than a yoni egg or vaginal weight because your hands also get feedback. This educates your brain on the most efficient ways to connect to these important muscles. Then you can recall this engagement and utilize mula bandha (more on this below) to engage and sustain that engagement in an organic, dynamic, healthy, and functional way. 

Are you using this to get back to sex?

I get it. We all feel vulnerable connecting to our sexuality and sensuality postpartum. But this approach is training your body to close. Adding tension to your already scared downstairs. Over time this can lead to an inability to be penetrated without pain. Which doesn’t make for great sex. Or good sex. Or sometimes any sex at all. For a more holistic approach to sex postpartum, check out this article. 

Are you using this as a way to tighten things back up?

We’ve covered that the muscles are already tight. So, why do you need to be tight? I ask this without judgement. I want YOU to know YOUR reason. Are you having discomfort with the length of your vaginal muscles? Are you scared you won’t enjoy sex? Are you worried your partner won’t enjoy sex? That your value as a sexual being is diminished? That you’re supposed to want to get tight again? Have you had sex yet to know what your answer is to these things? Is this making you really nervous and uncomfortable? 

What is your reason?

This is all I care about. And I hope that’s all you care about too. There is so much external pressure on women and our bodies after having babies and none of it is helpful. Unless someone is pressuring you to take a nap, masturbate, or go do something by yourself. 

There is no ONE right way to do any of this, there is only YOUR right way. And I want you to be crystal clear on that (no pun intended)! And then make YOUR right decision. 

Ok, Alissa. You make some really strong points here. But I love my practice. Can you offer me an alternative that will help me connect to and harness my divine feminine power that is more functional and healthy for my pelvic floor?

YES! I would never leave you hanging like that! I’m not a monster. 

Instead of adding weight or load, let’s UNLOAD the pelvic floor. Literally lie down wherever you are. Get horizontal to remove the load from your pelvic floor and give these muscles a break!

Touch yourself. 

Insert a finger like I suggested above with lube!) and actually feel your vaginal muscles engage and release. Feel how the musculature of the vaginal wall and opening contract and release. How the folds change and lengthen. The level of lubrication shifts. Explore and learn how your body responds to…yourself. More on the importance of touching yourself here. 

Write.

I’ve obviously always been a fan of journaling. I think every writer has that same back story. Anyway, my all time favorite exercise to give clients and friends, especially after giving birth, is to write a letter to your vagina. Yes, really. This powerful writing exercise can help you process deeper feelings around your experience, your history, your body, and your new identity as a mother. This article goes into more detail on this. 

Use a dilator. 

They even make dilators out of jade, amethyst, and other crystals. Dilators (which aren’t dissimilar to dildos except they don’t look like penises) come in various sizes starting as small as your pinky finger. 

Insert the dilator and breathe into your pelvic floor. You can use this article to guide you through engaging and releasing your pelvic floor in different ways to connect to all the possibilities of your yoni and pelvic floor.

Mula Bandha: The Root Lock. 

In this yogic practice you engage and hold the root chakra located at your perineum (between your anus and vagina). Your root chakra energetically holds your sense of grounding, security, and safety. All of which can be scrambled after birth. 

Unsure of what’s where? Grab a hand mirror and look at yourself. Touch your perineum (the area between your anus and vaginal opening) so you know where it is. So your hand feels it and your perineum feels it. Then lift there.  Replicate that lift without your hand and see what happens! Want to learn more about the intricacies of your pelvic floor, this article has everything you need. 

This is a contraction of these muscles and healthy muscles can contract AND release so make sure you do both.

Speaking of which…

Breathe

At this point I think I’ll never shut up about breathing. Breathe. Allow your inhale to fill your lungs, your abdomen, your pelvis with air. Feel how your pelvis can widen and your pelvic floor can drop as you inhale fully. As you exhale follow the lift, engagement, and narrowing of mula bandha and how your shape changes as your body empties. 

This will physically coordinate your pelvic floor muscles with your diaphragm (very important to both breath quality and regaining stability postpartum), bringing circulation and awareness to your yoni and womb center which can also create arousal, and calms your nervous system. 

My point is…you have options. You get to choose. So know that anyone who tells you to use a yoni egg or vaginal weight doesn’t know what they are talking about in terms of anatomy and physiology or the functionality of the pelvic floor. Unless, of course, it’s your doctor or pelvic health physical therapist guiding you.

And yes, I understand that there are energetic benefits to jade, and other stones and crystals. I want you to have that. AND I want you to have a healthy, fully functioning vagina and pelvic floor. So place your stones and crystals on your night stand, at your altar, around your neck, on your belly, anywhere except inside your vagina.

As always, I’ve got your back. I’ve got your front. And I’ve got your undercarriage.

I want to hear how this goes! Does this resonate? Do you hate this? Email me and let me know.